I came back reading all my previous posts...
Gosh I had a tough life back then. LOL.
And you can say, childish.
BUT IDGAF!~
IMMA FREE BITCH.

School, as in, my studies are absolutely awesome. I did well in most of 'em. But today, just today, I screwed my NAPFA, Science Test and Literature Test. And for Project Work? It was awesome. Sophia, I feel so happy! HAHA.

School, as in, the circle of friends, is really okay. But, I'm already a distant stranger to this person. I failed as a friend. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm useless. I'm pathetic. And like what you always say, you don't really fucking care, do you? :/

School, as in, my 'happiness' is so disappointing. So upsetting. False hope. I feel so dumb, I feel so stupid. And I bet, most of my friends are sick and tired of me saying this again and again. But I can't help it. I just can't.

But, still, I have to look at the bright side of life. I'm living life now. That's great. No, awesome. And of course amazing. It's okay if you don't disagree. I don't mind if you hate me. I seriously don't.

Enjoy your lives.

Totally emotionless right now. And still practicing on the 2 songs. Sadly. But still. I think tomorrow's Music lesson and School Ambassador training are the only things that I am looking forward to.

Thank all the lovely people who have been the listening ears. I appreciate it so much. :]

I know there some readers are desperately requesting me to update this blog. And since I have my mid-terms coming soon, I'll update not as frequent as before. So, I hope you'll understand that.

• I got highest for Music in my class. (Big deal -.-)
  
• I got full marks in English Summary Test. (Big deal -.-)
  
• Moo and Miracle. (Happy for both of you though.)
  
• Speech Day; We were amazing :]

I'm sick and tired of watching people live with happiness and all you can do is just stand there and always wish that it was happening the same to you. Don't you think? Somehow, I'm the most boring person and worst friend ever. I feel useless. I'm affected, but I can't do anything to help you. I feel so bad. I'm always bruised and battered by your words. Why do you like to hurt so much? Great, everyone is really unlucky to have me as their friend.
I'm better off dead.

Enjoy your lives,
I don't deserve any of you anyway.

I'm doubting myself every single moment, and I don't even know why. I can't really handle this. My life, my feelings and me pretending that I don't really care. I'm not being suicidal or something. I don't really wanna talk to anyone, for now. Because, it won't work. I'm not feeling happy in the inside nowadays. But still, I have to fake it, for them. For everyone. Everyone's also faking it, they're troubled. I'm troubled. And my heart is really tired. Literally. I just wanna run away. From everything. Really. I'm tired of watching people live with happiness. I'm tired. My heart is tired. I would like to thank the people who wrote my name as 'your best friend'. It really made my day. And also the people who made me laugh during this period when I'm not myself. I have nothing to blog about anymore. My connection to reality and the world is constantly on the brink of extinction. Everything happening around me serves as a no-big-deal to me. I might be MIA, or maybe not. I hope you enjoy your lives.

What I'm currently facing now is troubling me. I'm so not in the mood to go to school these days, not like before. I have to face reality and forget about fantasizing. Somehow, my intuition tells me that someone out there is taking away my personality. I am overshadowed, green with jealous rage when I see other people around me so happy with themselves and making their own conversations, and one pROblem is, you're not there with them. The feeling of not fitting in, lik you used to, not anymore. There's alot of things to be happy about but somehow, some people just don;t want you to be part of it. And then, they will start caring. Amazing. Utterly amazing.